I loved the “6 steps to taking a big step” article in the June, 2010 O Magazine and want to share a quote that I think is very relevant to anyone making a change or moving in a new direction:
“Find comfort in discomfort. ’Remember, it’s supposed to hurt; you’re supposed to feel sore.’ says Debbie Ford. She’s not talking about just the physical aches and pains of the couch potato turned triathlon competitor, but also the mental and emotional uneasiness of the would-be CEO or aspiring artist. ‘Accept that you’ll never get rid of self-doubt.’ Todd Kashdan says. ‘An adventurous person will always have moments of feeling like a fraud – it’s a sign that you’re creating new roles for yourself, that you’re evolving. It means you’re doing great, passionate work.” – Jessica Winter
Archive for the ‘business relationships’ Category
Getting Over The Growing Pains of Success
Friday, June 18th, 2010The Retirement Mindset
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010A few years ago I told my dad that I was trying to retire within 5 years. He said, “What will you do then?” Good question. What would I do? Would I read more? Watch more movies? Get more exercise? Travel? I realized that I’m doing as much of that as I’d like to now. I’ve been pondering this dilemma ever since. Would I be bored if I retired? If so, was I bound to working for the rest of my life?
I had an “ah ha” realization in Sedona a few weeks ago. I’d had enough work. It was time to release myself from my present obligations and stop working. I retired immediately. I was no longer obligated to do anything. I could now do whatever I wanted to. I was done and complete. If boredom was my plight, I’d face it. I was done. What a release and a relief.
So how has retirement changed my life? Not much. Now that I’m retired, I can do what I want. So, I do intuitive coaching. In fact, I’m doing more of it than before. I’m busy helping to restructure the behavior, communication and workflow of an international company. At the same time I’m acting as the interim CFO of my husband’s company (Bassett Printing). I realized that I LIKE doing all of this.
I’m exercising more than I did before I retired. Because of this I’m able to run again, while still working out with weights and doing yoga. I’m spending a lot of time with friends and with my husband. I’ve read several books in the past few weeks. Most of them novels.
I know it sounds like I’m very busy, and it’s true. I am. I’m at least as busy as I was before I retired. But, I’m having A LOT more fun. Why? Because I know I don’t have to do any of it. I’m retired. The retirement mindset is setting the stage for bliss. Just thinking about being retired makes me smile. I’m more relaxed knowing that I can do anything I want.
I’ve read quotes from many of our famous entrepreneurs that say we must do what we love in order to be successful. I can now tell you from a new perspective that this is absolutely true. When we let go of our obligations and self expectations, our fears and limiting beliefs, we can do what we do best. Few of us are actually couch potatoes. Most of us like to DO stuff. I love to do exactly what I’m doing now: Writing to you.
What do you love to do? You may consider retirement – from your beliefs, obligations and expectations. I’d love to hear about how you prosper once you do.
Picture Your Best Life: Vision Board “Playshop”
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010Transform your goals and dreams into reality with this simple and powerful tool. Creating a Vision Board helps you focus on what’s most important and effortlessly attract it into your life. Many high-achieving, joyful people, like Oprah Winfrey and Jack Canfield, use Vision Boards. Now, you can too! This fun, inspiring and transformational workshop is facilitated by Intuitive Coach/Counselor Deborah Hill and Wisdom Mentor Tricia Molloy.
At this workshop, you will:
• Clearly define your goals and dreams.
• Release limiting beliefs and break through your obstacles
• Learn how to tap into the power of visualization
• Create your own Vision Board
• Experience a visualization exercise that will activate your goals and dreams
Where: The Open Mind Center, 1575 Old Alabama Road, Roswell, GA 30076 www.theopenmindcenter.com
When: Saturday, May 22, 2010 / 9:30 am to 12:30 pm
Investment: $119, Early Bird Discount until 4/30/10. $139 after 4/30/10. (This includes all materials and parking.)
Refund available before 5/10/10. Invite a friend to join you. To assure personal attention in the creation of your Vision Board, this workshop is limited to 10 people, so register early! Our January and February workshops sold out.
For more information or to register: http://www.theawarenessinitiative.com/store or call 404-459-0590.
We also offer private Vision Board workshops for your business, association or social group.
What’s Backing You Up?
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010My husband and I were calling a bank officer yesterday via conference mode and got her assistant. The assistant said she’d give the message to the officer with our phone number. My husband said, “Thanks. Goodbye.” The assistant hung up. No “goodbye” or closure. Nothing. Just click.
Dave said, “That really backs me up. Why can’t people have the courtesy to say, ‘Goodbye?’” I agreed, it would be kind and respectful to say “Goodbye.” However, I pounced on the phrase, “Backed me up.” It’s so spot on. It’s exactly what happens when we get upset with people or life in general. We take issue with something and it backs us up. We get out of present time and start ranting and raving internally (or externally for those more verbal), instead of moving on with our intended life.
Why isn’t life the way we think it should be? Why don’t people act the way we think they should? Why are there so many pebbles, rocks and walls in the road? Perhaps it’s so that we learn to not get backed up by them. It’s just the way it is. We have to deal with it. Stay with what is on our plate and don’t let these obstacles back us up.
How can we avoid it? Here are some tips. First, watch it happen and you’ll know how toxic self righteousness can be. Other ways I cope:
1. Laugh at it. Make a joke.
2. Have compassion. The assistant is either having a bad day or a bad life. She’s stuck somewhere. I send love.
3. Maintain my boundaries. Say to myself, “Sorry, you’re just not worth it.” My happiness is more important than getting irritated by you.
4. Evaluate myself. Note to self, “Hmm. I hope I don’t do that. I need to be conscious of that behavior and see if I do that. It could be a sign or a lesson.”
5. Focus on the present. Say to myself, “It’s not my problem.” Is it? Can I work around this? Is this what I want to focus on now?
There are many opportunities in life to grow. An abrupt assistant gave me the opportunity to notice something in life and share it with you.
Enjoy the ride.
Pat Yourself on the Back
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010Life is all about lessons. A lot of them. We’re running an obstacle course, folks, and there are times when it’s not fun. There are times when we’re running along feeling the wind in our face, hurtling over those obstacles and climbing ladders with ease. Then there are days when the rain pours while we’re trudging up a muddy mountain. It’s cold, it’s windy… yuk! We’ve seen a lot of those rainy days and a lot of mud lately. That’s life.
And, we have the emotions to deal with. The emotions are referred to as a bunch monkeys in some Eastern religions. Those monkeys are up and down and all over the place. It’s very difficult, to impossible to control a bunch of monkeys. Your emotional monkeys may get a bit out-of-hand when the going is rough. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Comfort yourself like the challenged person that you are.
Just knowing that life is meant to be challenging can help you through the bad times. Here are other ways to handle stress:
1, Meditation is key. I can’t imagine getting through a difficult time without it. Meditation is to the mind/emotions/spirit as a shower is to the body. It also helps you to focus and center yourself in the challenging and not so challenging times.
2. Exercise is a legal way of drugging yourself. Yes, endorphins do work. You’ll also notice that you’ll feel happier when your body is healthy. (How emotionally bad did you feel when you had that flu?) So, do yourself a very big favor and start or continue exercising.
3. Eat properly. It’s tough enough handling some situations with a fit body. Don’t make it harder by giving yourself bad fuel. You need the energy and physical health to handle these times.
4. Sleep. Get 7-8 hours. OK, at least 6! You won’t make it up the mountain without sleep.
5. Call on your support systems. If you don’t have any (Oh, come on now, you do.) read an inspirational book or listen to motivating music or a tape.
6. Two effective tools for dealing with challenge are a positive attitude and faith – pure knowing and understanding – that things WILL GET BETTER.
When they do get better, pat yourself on the back for a journey well taken. In fact, pat yourself on the back when you’re feeling bad. Feel proud that you handled or are handling the mountain. You are birthing a life. If you are alive, you’re handling it. You’re doing it. That’s what life is all about. Doing it. Learning from it. Love yourself for having made the journey.
Of course, there are those spectacular views at the top of the mountain, too. Not to mention, cheesecake, hummingbirds, baby kisses, mountain streams . . .
Congratulations. You Made A Mistake
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010I was working out with my trainer, Joseph, the other day and he had me doing a particularly difficult exercise. I was holding a weight in my right hand and balancing on my left leg. I then bent down and touched the weight in front of my left leg, while keeping the right leg up. At the same time I was balancing a plate in my mouth. . . OK. I lied about the plate.
To make this more difficult, I was standing on a foam pad, so my left foot was not on solid ground. The first time I tried this I fell over. It took several tries before I was able to balance and bend over without dropping my right leg or grabbing onto Joseph’s arm. I was then able to accomplish it, but my left foot and ankle constantly shifted and wobbled to maintain the balance. It didn’t look pretty. But, I did it. My leg and body learned how to accomplish the move and my body newly strengthened muscles in my foot, ankle and knee to stabilize it. I was pushing my limits and was growing.
If we were able to do everything at first try, there would be nothing new in life. A growth filled life is laden with errors. If we don’t ere, we are staying within the safety net of our previous experience. Nothing new happens. We stay the same.
When we push our limits we sometimes fall, we wobble and eventually we learn. We are then stronger, wiser and in a sense bigger than before. Edison invented the light bulb on his ten thousandth try. That’s 9,999 mistakes. If we’re not making mistakes, we’re missing opportunities to grow and expand.
Mistakes are laurels on our way to mastery of the new. Honor and applaud them.
“When have you done work that matters without having perfect acceptance?”
Thursday, February 4th, 2010Vanessa Lowery asked this insightful question in LinkedIn. Have you done work or other deeds because you felt it was the right thing to do, even if others didn’t appreciate or approve of it? What was the result? Check out her blog post for other people’s stories (http://vanessalowry.wordpress.com/2010/01/31/addicted-to-approval/). Here’s mine:
Everyday I experience opportunities to do work that matters whether or not I’m approved of. As an intuitive coach I give information based upon what I see clairvoyantly and then coach people to break through barriers and take their next steps. If I were to worry about what people think I may be swayed from saying what I See – from telling the truth. I have to trust my insights. Sometimes people don’t recognize what I’m saying as truth. I have to stand behind what I See.
One client said, “80% of what you say I see as true for me immediately. I see that the other 20% is true in 2-4 months.” It takes guts and self belief to tell the truth about what you see and do what you feel is right, even if it’s not accepted. If you’re lucky it can change people’s lives. If not, it’s just water under the bridge.
What other people think of me is none of my business. When I stopped worrying about it I suddenly attracted hundreds of new clients and friends and I’m having a greater impact on life.
Secret tips on finding joy
Thursday, January 21st, 2010Suzie Price is asking people on Linkedin what brings them joy (http://www.pricelessprofessional.com/how-to-find-happiness.html).
Here’s my answer:
1.) Know who you are. In order to be happy you have to know what makes you happy.
To do that you have to increase your awareness of who you are and BE that.
2.) Do what you love and don’t settle for less, no matter what.
There are no excuses here. If you act out of obligation, fear, worry or through your limiting beliefs of what you SHOULD do you won’t be happy. If you do what you love you’ll find joy, and you’ll light up the world and those around you at the same time.
See yesterday’s blog: “Enlightening Pelican Lessons.”
Day 2 & 3 of Gratitude Challenge
Friday, November 27th, 20092 days ago I began the Gratitude Challenge and promised to post my lessons in giving. (see below). Here are a couple examples from my day. I’m excited to read comments from you about yours.
Yesterday I was invited to a friend’s home to share Thanksgiving with her wonderful family. I was asked to bring the appetizer.
Normally I pull something prepared out of the freezer, but today I was inspired. I had a smoked salmon and it seemed the perfect appetizer. But, I needed to make it special. I spent two hours cutting cucumbers and tomatoes, decorating them with dill and surrounding the salmon on a beautiful fish plate. I then took some whipped cream cheese and whipped it some more with fresh dill. I put the cream cheese in a plastic baggie (really going over the top now), cut an end off and decorated the salmon like a cake with the cream cheese.
During this entire process I paid attention to how I felt. I was having fun. I really got into this.
And, so did they. They family loved the salmon. It was a huge hit. It was an act of giving the enlightened my day and their tummies.
Example Day 3:
Last night after returning home I got hit by a flu bug. It leveled me. Fever, chills… everything. I had two phone coaching sessions scheduled for today. My husband suggested I cancel them. I felt in my heart that I needed to do these sessions. And, I did.
I was swept away in the world of coaching, learning and communicating. The sessions did wonders for me and for them. A 100% win-win situation. Ah, I love my work!
Please share your giving experience by clicking on the title of this blog. There will be a box at the end of the blog where you can type in a comment. I’d love to hear about your experience. Or, you can email me at debhill@theawarenessinitiative.com.