We know that we are all different. Each one of us has habits that work for us, but not for others. In fact, our habits and behaviors may be very irritating to someone else – especially a mate or someone we work with. I’m learning that if I step back and evaluate the differences objectively I may be able to not only accept them, I can benefit from them.
For example, my husband, Dave, and I are very different in some ways. One place we differ is in how we approach a task. I like to get things done as quickly and efficiently as possible. I dive into it and focus on only the task at hand. Dave takes his time and is more relaxed about when things get done.
One day we were involved in fixing things around the house. We needed some tools to complete the task and went to Home Depot. My mind was on the task at hand, knowing that we had plans for the evening. I felt that we needed to work quickly on the repairs so that we’d be finished before dinner.
When we arrived at Home Depot I went right for the tool aisle and found an employee to help me find the correct tool. I directly asked for the tool I was looking for, and when he answered I thanked him and went to get the tool.
Dave was appalled. He felt that I’d mistreated the employee. His approach would have been to introduce himself to the person, be friendly and make some pleasant conversation before asking for information. I felt like I didn’t have time for all the conversation. I just wanted to get the job done.
It took some work, but we eventually were able to see that our different styles can actually be complementary. I keep track of time and Dave’s the PR guy. Dave gathers information and gets to know everyone while I get the tool or products we need.
We’re actually learning from each other, as well. After being around him for some time I find myself asking people’s names and taking a little more time with them – even though I’m on a “mission.” Dave, on the other hand, has become a lot more focused on doing things within a certain time period.
I’m learning that the habits in others that cause me the most angst may be the ones that complement me and teach me the most. So much to learn.