Feelings are very underrated. In my book, Unlimited Life, I discuss how our beliefs define us. I discuss in the book, and in past articles how limiting beliefs prevent us from creating the life that we desire. A question that comes up often is, “How do I know when I’m limiting myself?” One way of discovering these beliefs is to explore our feelings.
We are often taught to undermine our emotions and to overcome them. However, our feelings are major indicators of whether we are doing what we need to do in our life at the moment. If we are unhappy doing something we are either doing something that we would be better off not doing, or, we may have a belief within us that tells us that what we’re doing is flawed or unnecessary. It’s important to explore these feelings to see which option is correct.
For example, I had a client who was unhappy being an accountant. She felt that she should be helping others more and wanted to be more altruistic. In truth, the world needs accountants and she actually enjoyed the job itself and the tasks that were involved with it. Doing what she loved – accounting – was what she needed to do. But, her feelings of unhappiness helped her to notice that she had a resistive pattern within her – a limiting belief – that was preventing her from experiencing her joy. If she let go of the belief that being an accountant was not serving the world, she could experience the joy of doing her job. When she was joyful she emanated this joy and it would spread to others around her, thereby allowing her to be more altruistic and healing to others.
Sometimes our feelings can help us to decide how to function around others. For example, we may feel uncomfortable being around someone. It’s important to notice this feeling and honor it. So often we try to mitigate these feelings and tell ourselves that we’re being unreasonable. Perhaps we aren’t. It may be best to honor the feeling and stay clear of the person until we’re certain that this person is someone that is trustworthy and gives off an energy that serves us. While honoring our feelings we can also look at what within us is making us feel uncomfortable. We may have a belief within that prevents us from accepting a part of that person. This belief may or may not be unreasonable or true. If the belief is untrue we can learn to accept the other person and release a prejudice within ourselves. Our feelings help us to take note of what is happening around us so that we can steer ourselves and explore our inner beliefs, thereby finding what is true for us.
Many of us are taught to hide our positive feelings, as well. Feelings of appreciation and love aren’t often expressed because we are afraid of rejection, or taught to be more discrete. We are sometimes taught that those who are “overly” demonstrative of their love and joy are somehow a bit “crazy” or off beat. Sometimes these people are not being truthful and are a bit “off.” Other times we feel uncomfortable because we have a difficult time accepting that degree of love or joy that is presented to us. Opening to the positive feelings of others towards us can help us to learn more about our own limiting beliefs about ourselves. We can then feel more love and joy within.
One way to explore feelings is to listen to yourself and honor the feelings. Be your own best friend. Let your feelings express themselves in words and in thoughts. These thoughts are the patterns that you carry within you. They comprise and perpetuate your belief. You may hear your inner voice saying things that may or may not sound true at the objective level. For example it may say, “I feel stupid and silly.” Be a good listener and don’t negate these feelings. Hear yourself out. Then open your heart to you and have compassion for the part of you that thinks and feels this way.
My experiences in the last month have required that I accept my feelings of loss, of pain, of disappointment. Honoring these feelings and “hearing myself out” has allowed me to be a better friend to myself. I can then see the truth and support myself more effectively. I’ve also been given a great deal of love and support from others. I have learned how enlightening and expansive being loved and supportive can be. It has helped me to heal and to grow, and at the same time has allowed the givers of this love to share their most precious gift – their self and their love.
Our feeling self is an integral part of who we are. Our feelings are signals. They are also doorways to discover better ways of connecting and communicating. Feelings are a gift. If we open ourselves to them we open ourselves to one of the most important forces of creation, giving insight, direction, and helping us to create what we truly desire.